I am nobody.
I see the bright and shining lights of your Kingdom, publicly affirmed and lifted up.
I feel shame that I am not among them, inspiring massive love for You,
I feel envy for their confidence and clarity of thought and purpose,
I covet their influence and ability.
I feel better when I acknowledge that my opportunities and my decisions brought me to where I am,
That my place and purpose here is necessary and valid,
That my comparison of myself to others is flawed and unhealthy,
That I am not equipped for other people’s lives and roles, and they might struggle in mine.
Lord, grant me peace and help me trust in Your plan,
Help me forgive and celebrate myself, made in Your image,
Fill my heart (so hard, so small) with overflowing, all-encompassing love for You and Your people.
Restore my soul, that shame and envy might find no home in me.
I am nobody, but I am somebody to you.
I give up my faults to you, that I may receive my life in you;
Exceeding all I can hope for or imagine.
Psalm-inspired (?) poem of pretty raw honesty there. I struggle too. Thank you for being brave and writing! Love you!