This was the kind of day that felt like I got nothing done. I cooked a couple of meals, did some dishes, dragged my boys out to help a friend move some big furniture, got groceries, fixed a neighbor boy’s bike, did a little reading, worked out, contacted a source for an article, exchanged some emails, bugged one boy to do some reading and bugged both boys to do some dishes (not because I can’t but because they should,) baked a cake with homemade sour cream frosting, and watched E.T. (the Extraterrestrial, not Entertainment Tonight.) How is that nothing? I’m self-conscious about the issue of no time card, no paycheck–those details add a sense of consequence to actions. My days as strictly a freelancer are numbered. Eventually my qualifications will meet a situation and make a love connection and this era of footloose fancy free-dom will be over. Have I wasted my at-home opportunity worrying about not doing enough?
Do you see how impossible I am to live with? I worry I’ve done nothing, then I worry that I’ve worried too much about it. Next, I’ll be worrying that I’ve done too much trying to offset worries that others think I’ve done too little. Enough! All I have to do is look around at my mom, my sister, and way too many of my friends to realize that none of this matters right now. Life is a gift and needs to be appreciated, not worried away. I can’t control a lot in life, but I can decide to pop my worry bubble whenever I see it building. Instead of fussing about how much gets done or what value it has, I’ll just do, be, connect, embrace, reject and be grateful. If I can do that, I’ll never have a “nothing done” day again.