Tag Archives: Conspiracy of One

Maelstrom Drives

Fueled by caffeine and tunes (The Offspring’s Conspiracy of One album) I transform behind the wheel. My inner bad-ass is revealed. Maelstrom, my new alter-ego, is dark of spirit and quick to action; woe betide the wrongdoers caught in our path. Light as a whispered curse we dart down the highway as shadows and clouds are pulled toward us. Vultures circle. Bullies and thieves, hoodlums and malefactors are our prey. You, in the silver Ford Expedition, we have our eye on you. Make no mistake, you will suffer wretchedly should you swerve like that again. Watch it. The miles fly.

Eventually the album ends, my destination nears and I  must reluctantly resume my mild-mannered suburban mom identity. I switch tunes (Blue Man Group, The Complex album, which is still dark and energetic but less…punitive.) I tell myself to settle down as I try to flush the caffeine through my system with water and beef jerky. Four hours is too long on the Midwest highways for me, so I am lucky Maelstrom was around to take a turn at the wheel. Now she sleeps, but miscreants beware, for she shall return.